singemfrc.com

Last Update: 1/13/2017 1208



Back Straight Outta Lynwood
1. White & Nerdy (2:50)
2. Pancreas (3:48)
3. Canadian Idiot (2:23)
4. I'll Sue Ya (3:51)
5. Polkarama (4:17)
6. Virus Alert (3:46)
7. Confessions Part III (3:52)
8. Weasel Stomping Day (1:34)
9. Close But No Cigar (3:55)
10. Do I Creep You Out (2:46)
11. Trapped In The Drive Thru (10:51)
12. Don't Download This Song (3:17)

01 WHITE AND NERDY

(2:50)

Parody of "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire



You see me mowin my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin
I'm so white and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think
I'm too white and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Really really white and nerdy

First in my class here at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite M.C
Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you've see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin so fast I'll set the place ablaze

There's no killer app I haven't run (run)
At Pascal, well I'm number one (one)
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?)
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Here's the part I sing on

You see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart
They think I'm white and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I'd like to roll with the gangstas
Although it's apparent
I'm too white and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
How'd I get so white and nerdy

I been browsin, inspectin X-Men comics
You know I collect em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites)
When my friends need some code, who do they call
I do HTML for em all
Even made a homepage for my dog
Yo I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a role of bubble wrap
Pop, pop, hope no one sees me gettin freaky

I'm nerdy in the extreme
Whiter than sour cream
I was in A/V club and glee club
And even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
Spend every weekend at the renaissance faire
Got my name on my underwear

They see me strollin, they're laughin
And rollin' their eyes
Cause I'm so white and nerdy

Just because I'm white and nerdy
Just because I'm white and nerdy
All because I'm white and nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white and nerdy

I wanna bowl with the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
I'm just too white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

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02 PANCREAS

(3:48)

I'm always thinkin bout it
I don't know what I'd do without it
I love, I really love
My pancreas

My spleen just doesn't matter
Don't really care about my bladder
But I don't leave home without
My pancreas

My pancreas is always there for me
Secreting those enzymes
Secreting those hormones too
Metabolizing carbohydrates just for me

My pancreas
My pancreas
My pancreas
My pancreas

My pancreas
My pancreas

My pancreas attracts every other pancreas in the universe
With a force (with a force) (with a force) proportional
To the product of their masses
And inversely proportional to the distance between them

Dontcha you know you gotta
Flow, flow, flow pancreatic juice
Flow, flow into the duodenum
Won'tcha flow, flow, flow pancreatic juice
Flow, flow into the duodenum

Won'tcha flow, (insulin) flow, flow (glucagon) pancreatic juice
(Comin from the islets of Langerhans)
Flow, flow into the duodenum
Flow, (insulin) flow, flow (glucagon) pancreatic juice
(Comin from the islets of Langerhans)
Flow, flow into the duodenum

Lipase, amylase and trypsin
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
They're gonna help with my digestion
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)

Lipase, amylase and trypsin
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
They're gonna help with my digestion
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
(Lipase, amylase and trypsin)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)
(They're gonna help with my digestion)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
(Lipase, amylase and trypsin)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)
(They're gonna help with my digestion)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
(Lipase, amylase and trypsin)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)
(They're gonna help with my digestion)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
(Won'tcha flow,) (insulin) (flow, flow) (glucagon) (pancreatic juice)
(Lipase, amylase and trypsin)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
(Flow, flow into the duodenum)
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans)
(They're gonna help with my digestion)

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03 CANADIAN IDIOT

(2:23)

Parody of "American Idiot" by Green Day



Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin hockey nut
And do I look like some frost bitten hose head
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take em seriously at all

Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot

Sure, they got their national health care
Cheaper meds for prime rates and clean air
Then again, well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out the temperature in Celcius
See the map, they're hoverin right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break your nose and they'll just say sorry
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite
It's gotta be they're all up to something
So quick, before they see it coming
Time for a preemptive strike

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04 I'LL SUE YA

(3:51)

I sued Taco Bell cause I ate half a million Chalupas - and I got fat
I sued Panasonic, they never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat
I sued Earthlink cause I called em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold
I sued Starbucks cause I spilled a frappucino in my lap and brr, it was cold

I sued Toys 'R Us cause I swallowed a Nerf ball and nearly choked to death
I sued PetCo cause I ate a bag of kitty litter and now I got bad breath
I sued Coca-Cola yo, cause I put my finger down in a bottle - and it got stuck
I sued Delta Airlines cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey - and I went there, and it sucked

Yeah
If you stand me up on a date
If you deliver my pizza thirty seconds late
I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, I might even sue you

I sued Duracell, they never told me not to shove that double A right up my nose
I sued Home Depot cause they sold me a hammer which they knew I might drop on my toes
I sued Dell Computers cause I took a bath with my laptop, now it doesn't work
I sued Fruit Of The Loom cause when I wear my tighty whities on my head I look like a jerk

I sued Verizon cause I get all depressed every time my cell phone is roaming
I sued Colorado cause you know, I think it looks a little bit too much like Wyoming
I sued Neiman Marcus cause they put up their Christmas decorations way out of season
I sued Ben Affleck - aww, do I even need a reason

If I sprain my ankle while I'm robbin your place
If I hurt my knuckles while I punch you in the face

I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, that's right, I'm gonna sue you

I'll sue ya, I'll take all your money
I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya, I'll take all your money
I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny

I'll sue ya, I'll take all your money
I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny
I'll sue ya, I'll take all your money
I'll sue ya if you even look at me funny

I'll sue ya, ha-ha ha ha-ha
I'll sue ya, whatchy'all think of that
I'll sue ya, ha-ha ha ha-ha
Booya, I'll sue ya

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05 POLKARAMA

(4:17)

Let's get it started, ha
Let's get it started in here
Let's get it started, ha
Let's get it started in here
Let's get it started, ha
Let's get it started in here

And the bass keeps runnin, runnin
And runnin, runnin
And runnin, runnin
And runnin, runnin

I say, don't you know
You say you don't know
I say, take me out
I say, you don't show
Don't move, time is slow
I say, take me out

Beverly Hills
That's where I want to be (gimme gimme)
Living in Berevly Hills
Beverly Hills
Rolling like a celebrity (gimme gimme)
Living in Berevly Hills

And birds go flying at the speed of sound
To show you how it all began
Birds came flying from the underground
If you could see it then you'd understand

And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on
All right already
We'll all float on
Now don't you worry
We'll all float on
All right

Feel good
Feel good
Feel good

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha
Don't cha, don't cha, don't cha

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
Well, I've got potential
A rushin, a rushin around

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Go ahead girl, don't you stop
Keep goin' 'til you hit the spot
I'll take you to the candy shop
Boy, one taste of what we got
We'll have you spendin all you got, come on
Keep goin till you hit the spot

When the pimp's in the crib, ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
When the pigs try to get at you
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot

Come Mr. DJ, song pon da replay
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up
All the gyal pon the floor wantin some more what
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up
Hey mister
Please, Mr. DJ
Tell me if you hear me
Turn the music up

She take my money (she take my money)
When I'm in need (when I'm in need)
Yeah, she's a triflin' friend indeed (friend indeed)
Oh, she's a gold digger
Way over town (way over town)
That digs on me

Now, I ain't sayin she's a gold digger
But she ain't messin with no broke, broke
Now, I ain't sayin she's a gold digger
But she ain't messin with no broke, broke

Get down, girl, go ahead, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ahead, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ahead, get down (I gotta leave)
Get down, girl, go ahead

But I ain't sayin she's a
Gold, gold digger
Gold, gold digger
Gold, gold digger

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06 VIRUS ALERT

(3:46)

Hey
Everyone, listen up
Your attention, if you please

We wanna give you a warning
Cause I found out this morning
Bout a dangerous, insidious computer virus

If you should get any mail with the subject "Stinky Cheese"
Better not go taking your chances
Under no circumstances
Should you open it or else it will

Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record Gigli
Neuter your pets and give your laundry static cling

(Look out) It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
(Look out) Erase the easter eggs off your DVDs
(Look out) Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you

Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash and stock in Euro Disney

Then it will tie up your phone making crank long distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour
And start hogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will

Decide to give you a permanent wedgie
Legally change your name to Reggie
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool

(Look out) It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
(Look out) And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
(Look out) And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
(Look out) And make you physically attracted to sheep

(Look out) Steal your identity and your credit cards
(Look out) Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
(Look out) Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place

That's right, its a
Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So, before it emails your grandmother all of your porn

Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty three foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely, rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online

Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

What are you waiting for
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know

Hit send right now

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07 CONFESSIONS PART III

(3:52)

Parody of "Confessions Part III" by Usher



Watch this

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I've said all I can say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions

First I told you bout the skank that I was cheatin with (with)
Then I mentioned she's havin my kid
That's not all, now I recall more, you see
So now I'll give you part three of my confessions

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauley Shore
Pauley Shore, that's a lie, I don't know what I said that for

I borrowed your ChapStick from you without asking
Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too
And by the way, that diamond ring is cubic zirconium
I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I need to get some things off my chest right away

These are my confessions (these are my confessions)
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Threw up on your dog the last time I had too much to drink
There've been times I've peed in your sink
Don't know why (don't know why, no) but you and I (ah) should agree (ah)
That blongs in part three of my confessions

Baby forgive me, I'm still trying to figure out
Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout
Oh, and sometimes in private, really like to dress up like Shirley Temple
And spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)

My boss thinks I'ma a jerk, didn't get that raise
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty seven days
And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget
I'm so sorry Debbie - I mean Bridget

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I got a few (got a few more) more secrets I'd like to convey

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind (my mind) the last two times (my mind), silly me (silly me)
Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions, oh, oh

Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor
FYI (I), it was not a cold sore (not a cold sore)
Whoops, my bad (hope you're not sore at me)
You'll be madder (ah) at me (ah) when I (even more mad, yeah, baby) finish part three of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this
But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday
Well, I returned it for store credit
That thing was hideous, what were you thinking
Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week
I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic
Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies
What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
I thought of some more things that should scare you away

These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions

Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat (cat)
And I lied - yes, that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore
Till I give you part four of my confessions

I mean, I'm just getting started here
I'm not even halfway down the list
This thing could go on for
Hey, where you goin
Honey, what
Was it something I said
Women

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08 WEASEL STOMPING DAY

(1:34)

Faces filled with joy and cheer
What a magical time of year
Howdy ho, it's weasel stomping day

Put your viking helmet on
Spread that mayonnaise on the lawn
Don't you know it's weasel stomping day
(Weasel stomping day)

All the little girls and boys
Love that wonderful crunching noise
You'll know what this day's about
When you stomp a weasel's guts right out

So come along and have a laugh
Snap their weaselly spines in half
Grab your boots and stomp your cares away
Hip hip hooray, it's weasel stomping day

People up and down the street
Crushing weasels beneath their feet
Why we do it, who can say
But it's such a festive holiday

So let the stomping fun begin
Bash their weaselly skulls right in
It's tradition that makes it OK
Hey everyone, it's weasel stomping
We'll have some fun on weasel stomping
Put down your gun, it's weasel stomping day

Hip hip hooray
It's weasel stomping day
Weasel stomping day
Hey

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09 CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR

(3:55)

Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same

And I loved her even more than
Marlon Brando loved soufflé
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way

Except she was always using the word infer
When she obviously meant imply
And I know that somw guys can put up with that kinda thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why

And I told her, I said hey
Are we playin horseshoes, honey
No I don't think we are
You're close (close) but no cigar

Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a Habañero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate

And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass

I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on DVD

Oh no, I said hey
Are we lobbin hand grenades, kiddo
No, I don't think we are
You're close (close), aw, so very close (close)
Yeah baby, you're close (close), so close, but no cigar

Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweatin like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beatin' like a Buddy Rich solo

And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to number one on my list
And did I mention she's a world-famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist

Yeah, she's so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big, fat, slobberin pig
The only caveat was one of her earlobes was just
A little tiny bit too big

I said hey
Are we doin government work here?
No, I don't think we are
You're close (close), so very, very close (close)
Aw baby, you're close (close), so close, but no cigar

Missed it by that much (no cigar)
Aw yeah, aw right (no cigar)
Really, really, really close, but no cigar

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10 DO I CREEP YOU OUT

(2:46)

Parody of "Do I Make You Proud" by Taylor Hicks



I know that you don't know me very well
We've barely met, but I can surely tell
No one will ever love you like I do

I like to feel the warm spot on your chair
Sometimes I drool and usually I stare
My precious one
I saved that gum that you threw in the garbage

You're the one I dream about
But the only question with me now is
Do I creep you out

Everytime I shake your hand now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Do I creep you out

Call you every night and hang up
Gonna carve your name in my leg
In my leg

Something I should ask about
Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse
And do I creep you
Do I creep you out

Your restraining order's out
Still the only question with me now (oh, the only question)
Is do I creep you out? (is do I creep you out?)

Know exactly where you live now
Followed you from work back to your house
(Followed you from work back to your house)
Well, do I creep you out?
Do I creep you out?

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11 TRAPPED IN THE DRIVE-THRU

(10:51)

Parody of "Trapped In The Closet" by R. Kelly



Seven o'clock in the evenin, watching something stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa when my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, "Is this Behind The Music with Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know. Say, it's gettin late, whatcha wanna do for dinner?"

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch so I'm not super hungry."
I said, "Well, you know, baby, I'm not starvin either, but I could eat."
She said, "So, what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care. If you're hungry, let's eat."
I said, "That's what we're gonna do.

But first you've gotta tell me what it is you're hungry for."
And she says, "Lemme think. What's left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know."
She said, "That went bad a week ago."
I said, "Is the chili OK?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday."

I hopped up and said, "I don't know. Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver."
I'm like, "No, I said delivered."
She's like, "I heard you say liver."
I'm like, "I should know what I said."
She's like, "Whatever. I just don't want any liver."

Well, I was gonna say something, but my cell phone started to ring
Now, who could be callin' me? Well, I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry callin' for the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voice mail."
I said, "OK."

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right. So what do you wanna do?"
She says, "Why don't you whip up something in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," I said, "why don't you?"
And then she says, "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says, "No."
She says, "Yes."
I says, "No."
She says, "Yes."
I says, "No."
She says, "Yes. Oh, here's your keys."

I step a little bit closer, say, "OK, where you wanna go?"
She says, "How about 'The Ivy'?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I don't know."
I don't feel like gettin all dressed up and eatin expensive food."
She says, "Olive Garden."
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood.
And Burrito King would make me gassy, there's no doubt."
She says, "Just forget about it."
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out."

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do."
She says, "What?"
I say "Guess."
She says, "What?"
I say, "We're going to the drive-thru."

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
And we fasten our seatbelts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru (drive-thru)
Heading off to the drive-thru (drive-thru)
We're approaching the drive-thru (drive-thru)
Getting close to the drive-thru (drive-thru)

Almost there at the drive-thru (drive-thru)
Now we're here at the drive-thru (drive-thru)
Here in line at the drive-thru (drive-thru)
Did I mention the drive-thru? (drive-thru) (drive-thru) (drive-thru)

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line, me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us, all just waiting to order
There's some idiot in a Volvo with his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream, "Hey, whatcha tryin to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park. We could just go eat inside."
I said, "I'm wearin bunny slippers so I ain't leavin' this ride."
Now a woman, on a speaker box, is sayin, "Can I take your order please?"
I said, "Yes, indeed you certainly can, we'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese."

Then my wife says, "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind.
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwhich instead this time."
I said, "You always get a cheeseburger."
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for."
I put my head in my hands and scream, "I don't know who you are any more!"

The voice on the speaker says, "I don't have all day."
I said, "Then take our order, and we'll be on our way.
I wanna get a chicken sandwhich and I want a cheeseburger, too."
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do.

Plus we need curly fries, and don't you dare forget it.
And two medium root beers - no, just one, we'll split it."
Then I said, "I'm guessin that you're probably not too bright.
So read me back my order, let's make sure you got it right."

She says, "One: you want a chicken sandwhich.
Two: you want a cheeseburger. Three: curly fries and a large root beer."
"Stop, don't go no further.
I never ordered a large root beer. I said medium, not large."
Then she says, "We're havin' a special; I supersized you at no charge."

"Oh."
And that's all I could say was, "Oh."
And she says, "Now there's something else that I really think you should know."
"You can have unlimited refills for just a quarter more."
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru, so what would I want that for (for)?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute. Your voice sounds so familiar. Hey, is this Paul?"
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul. Now, tell me, who's this Paul?"
She says, "He's just some guy who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year and I copied off of him in Geometry."

I said, "I know a guy named Paul, he used to be my plumber.
He was prematurely bald and moved to Pittsburgh last summer.
He also had bladder problems and a really bad infection on his toe."
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there.
That's way more than I needed to know."

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window, please.
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents."
So we inched ahead in line, movin painfully slow
I got a little bored, so I turned on the radio

Click - turned it off because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly for her sake
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Umm, I think you have something in your teeth."

She turned away from me and then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it, but hey, you know, don't sweat it."
Then she said, "How bout now?"
I said, "Yeah almost.
There's still a little bit there, but don't worry.
It's probably just a piece of toast."

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet

And the lady at the window's like, "Well, well, well.
That'll be five eighty two."
I turn around to my wife and say, "How much have you got on you?"
She just rolls her eyes and says, "I'll pay for this, I guess."
So she reaches into her purse and busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear.
It's gotta be cash only.
We don't take credit cards here.

I take back the card and say, "Gee, really? Well that sucks."
And that's when I found out my wife was only carryin three bucks
I said, "I thought you were gonna hit the ATM today."
She says, "I never got around to it. So, where's your wallet anyway?"

And I said, "Never mind, just help me to find some change."
Now the lady at the window's lookin at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, please, we gotta move this line along."
I said, "Now hold your stinkin horses, lady. We won't be long."

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ash tray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long, I had a little pile of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says, "You're still about a dollar short."
And now my woman's got this weird look frozen on her face
She screams, "You know I wasn't even really hungry in the first place!"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "OK. Forget the chicken sandwhich then."

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pick-up window
Man, I just can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne-ridden kid, about sixteen
Wearin a dorky name tag that says, "Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him, "Hey, Eugene,
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well, he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry.
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup."
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right.
I just spaced out there for a second.
I'm really kinda burnt tonight."

And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin away
And the food is drivin me mad
With it's intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin to death by the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, give me that burger, I just gotta have a bite."
So she reaches in the bag and pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions

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12 DON'T DOWNLOAD THIS SONG

(3:54)

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge
To break international copyright law
By downloading MP3s from file-sharing sites
Like Morpheus or Grokster or Limewire or Kazaa

But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
Cause you start out stealing songs and then you're robbing liquor stores
And sellin crack and runnin over school kids with your car

So don't download this song
The record store's where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A
They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R
It doesn't matter if you're a grandma or a seven year old girl
They'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are

So don't download this song
Don't go pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh, don't download this song

Don't take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Hum-Vee
And diamond studded swimming pools
These things don't grow on trees
So all I ask is everybody, please

Don't donwload this song (Don't do it, no, no)
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's wrong (You can just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You really should)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't download this song (Oh please, don't you do it)
Or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (Right now) like you know that you should (Go out and buy it)
Oh, don't download this song

Don't download this song (No, no, no, no, no, no)
You'll burn in hell before too long (and you'll deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard)
Oh, don't download this song

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