01 TOO CLOSE TO SEE

(3:01)

A cup of two day old coffee
You're feeling like yourself again
You're still on your own
You've survived another night
In this dingy room with the same four walls

Lookin in the mirror's gettin easier these days
That old friend anger is losing its hold on you
The game is survival in this crazy world
And it's good to see you're still standing strong
Not too long ago you were tearing at a world
That would never let you in
Strung out, outcast, turned away
You kept your face to the ground
And fought the world with your silence

And so the seasons change and the people change
And the good times come and the good times go
You found yourself in a winless race
Fighting for a cause you never believed

Well its easy to regret not too easy to forget
All the stupid things that used to hold you down
You gotta break that chain and move on
Cause I know, I've seen it in your eyes before

To surrender now to throw it all away
Is to sacrifice, but you can't repay
In a world that don't owe you shit
You gotta think for yourself and fight for every bit
Of that piece of mind that keeps you going on
Gets you outta bed and out that door
Step back take a look around
And soon you'll find there's something more

That'll come your way with a little patience
It will all work out for you in the end
This is my song to a friend
That never needed anyone until now

Some times you get too close to see
A different side of what life could be
And if you stare too long it all becomes a blur
And its easy to forget just who we are
Don't stare too hard, just take a look around

02 THE EXHUMATION OF VIRGINIA MADISON

(2:20)

No one knows where I buried my sweet Virginia Madison
The winter chill falls over me and it keeps me numb inside
Under the moon by the edge of town she quietly waits for me
I promised I wouldn't be too long till I returned to sleep with her

She says she don't wanna live no more
Well I don't mind, no I don't mind
So now I'm waitin' for the crack of dawn
To head on back there to the place where me and her will always be

Now I got my Sunday best and I'm headed out that door
I dig my fingers deep in soil just to get to her
All dressed in black and she's so pale, she's waiting there for me
A blanket of soil covers us to fall asleep in eternity
And now I close my eyes

Then I awake with a snap, it was all a dream
I gotta empty bottle of something under me
I gotta really bad headache, my clothes are soaking wet
And it's times like this I wish I hadn't slept
Star locked gaze, uneasy hands
Then the dream fades away and leaves my head
Another riddle another dream another fucked up fantasy
I gotta learn to stay away from all this TV

She said she would always wait for me
Well I don't mind, no I don't mind
So now I'm heading to the place where I buried my sweet Virginia Madison

03 DEVILLE

(2:12)

Well this god damned car is broken down again
Looks like I'm sleeping in the back
And I'll be dreamin of a better place
Only to call you in the morning with the same excuse again
By the side of the freeway, watching all the cars go by

I think that tomorrow will be the day
I'll get my shit together and give up this crying game
Well I've been here before and I'll be here again, well
I don't know why, but it don't feel the same

For one moment I can see clearly
The weight of the world don't seem so bad then
I find myself here right back where I started from again

Indecision's no solution to the days that lay ahead
So I begin to scramble in my head for the answers
Only to find myself shut down by the same mistakes again
Lookin over my shoulder for the things that pass me by

I know that tomorrow will be the same
I'll find a new excuse to make the same mistakes again
I've been here before I know I'll be here again
So many wasted hours so many wasted intentions

For one moment I can see clearly
The weight of the world don't seem so bad then
I find myself here right back where I started from again

I beat myself up to survive
I've got more will now to stay alive
If I could only find the time if I could only find a reason
If I could only run this last leg first time around
I wouldn't be stuck in another mess
In another realm, with the same old stress

For one moment I can see clearly
The weight of the world don't seem so bad
I think tomorrow will be the day that
I get my shit together and give up this gig
I've been been here before and
I know that I will be here once again

04 MIND OF MY OWN

(2:34)

It's four o' clock, the TV's on
My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone
I change the channel, then change my mind
I change my life I wanna leave it all behind

Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I am influenced by everything that I see
And I can't help it now
Everything in my life just thinks for me

Can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease
Worshipping my idle time, a life I cannot seize
Trapped by depression and I sleep all day
But Xanax, Valium, Attavan make it all OK

It's so much more than a cry for attention
No loving hands can soothe this ache
It's so much more than a war with the world
It's my own degradation, and my own self hate

I preach my pessimism right out loud to anyone who'll listen
I'm not afraid to be alive, I'm afraid to be alone

Late at night my monsters find me
From under the bed or out of my past
All alone with nobody to talk to
Sanity gets put to the test
I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
As all my world crumbles all around me
Inspirations become admissions of defeat

Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
Everything in my life just thinks for me

05 REASON TO BELIEVE

(2:15)

I never had a reason to believe in anything
I never had a cause that I could fight for
I never had too much of anything to call my own
A drunk mother, and father of four

All my life I grew up watchin others dreams come true
And how I waited for my days in the sun
Every day I worked harder and I got further in debt
Till I realized that day was never gonna come

Written off, lost cause
Sold us down the river got no hope to offer us
Tore down, without grief
What's a generation without a reason to believe

They tore down all my walls and then they made all my hatred a crime
Debilitating us with all their complacency
Our thoughts become mundane, our generation thinks the same
Our minds anesthetized by apathetic TV

No wars to fight, steel bridges won't burn
The beliefs we uphold are lies we never learn
The only hope for the future leaves us reason to grieve
What's a generation without a reason to believe
A reason to believe

No wars to fight, steel bridges won't burn
The beliefs we uphold are lies we never learn
The only hope for the future leaves us reason to grieve
What's a generation without a reason to believe

06 CROSSROADS

(2:54)

I find myself here once again under clouds of indecision
Reflections looking right through me
I can't believe the lies we tell ourselves
The music used to be everything, and the music used to heal
But business soon becomes reality and nothing left inside is real

Dysfunction's all that we see true
Allow my best to see this through, got nothing left to give to you
Now I gotta find a better way

See our anger shining through at the crossroads in our way
Turned against each other with the games that we all like to play
Looking straight ahead it's hard to see things eye to eye
It's not at all what it used to be, something that I can't deny

And now I leave it up to you
Allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give to you
Now I gotta find a better way, before I lose another part of me

Now I can't watch what the world went wrong
The moment is gone the machine is grown
This track has drug me down, we're what we used to be
Running from a curse that we thought we'd never see
You cut me out but I cut you in
I see you again and it's just a road

Dysfunction's all that we see true
Allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give to you
Now I gotta find a better way before I lose another part of me

07 PAPERWALLS

(3:23)

A look of discontentment fills your hazel eyes
As I ask for the millionth time what's goin on
You seem to be confused about just where you stand with me tonight
As we tear apart all that wasn't lost to another fight

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talking to myself again bout all the things I shoulda said
And I wait for you, I sit and wait for you

I wanna know where this is going and do we
Still have a chance to save what we haven't lost again
I made a promise to myself not to let this go
But now I need to see this through
To burn these paper walls of doubt

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talkin to myself again bout all the things I shoulda said
And I wait for you, I sit and wait for you

My fucked up head is spinning round
And all my thoughts just keep me down
Here on your doorstep I'm drunk again
And I know you're sick of all my shit
And I know you wanna end all this
So tell me right now where do you stand
And I know your tired of this waiting game
And I know your tired of all my ways
I know your tired of it all just tell me now

I wanna know where this is going and do we
Still have a chance to save what we haven't lost inside
All these paper walls we build and all the ashes that have spilled
Getting in the way, get in the way

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talkin to myself again bout all the things I shoulda said
And I wait for you, I sit and wait for you

08 ICE BURN

(2:09)

I can feel the murky grip of a cold depression comin' down
I can feel her hands around my neck shake me to the ground
Ice burn of the soul in light in sickness and in death
Infected every word and every thought and every single breath

Twisted by design the creeps deep inside of me
Feeding off this hunger, rage and the insecurity
Tempted by the rage I feed off nothing but myself
Thirsty for the things that make me do this to myself

My pen is dripping the words along
To scrape the smile off my face
Every detour leads me here to shower in this waste

You are my friend
But now you're just living all over me

You watch me when I get it right
You watch me when I fall
Watch me every single day, listen to every word I say
And I swear I never wanted you I never needed anything from you
Twisted fucked up lying words, asleep at the wheel

My pen is dripping the words along
To scrape the smile off my face
Every detour leads me here to shower in this waste

You are my friend

09 ULTIMATE DEVOTION

(2:06)

One 'o one point one Fahrenheit
To some it's a fever, to her it's just right
And I can't hold her, and it's bringin me down
Her blood runs hot but her heart beats cold
She's a devil with an angel's face I've been told
I think I'll push my luck next time you're around

I'd walk through fire for you
I'd burn in hell to make it all true
And I never loved anyone else in this world but you
A thousand reasons why I try
To prove to you I'm not the other guy
I don't give a damn what other people think

A flare for the strange and a temper like a whip
And a soft hand clutches a riding crop grip
Smell of latex rubber, it drives me insane
Beat him once then send him on his way
There's no room in your life for anyone to stay
Engrave your moniker in welts of pain

There's nothin I wouldn't do to prove
To make these words I promised true
I'd rather live my life alone, than without you
You know I'd rather die then fuck this up
Wouldn't get another try
Got one chance there's nothing I wouldn't do

You be my master, I'll be your servant
On my knees I beg to be abused
You can take the skin right off my back
With a riding crop or a leather strap
I'd take it all just to be with you

I'd walk through fire for you
I'd burn in hell to make it all true
I never loved anyone else in this world but you
You know I'd rather die then to fuck this up
Wouldn't get another try
You're my goddess and I worship you

10 KING ALVAREZ

(2:22)

Gray sky man is talking to the sidewalk once again
Your perfect vision of the world it goes unheard
As the rain falls down on your head, it slips inside the cracks
Of another fruitless day here in the land of King Alvarez

You're losing once again it's getting harder to survive
When the world that's all around you just don't seem to care
And the universe you've built for yourself is caving in right on you
And the streets are getting colder than they used to be these days and now

I see you walkin down the boulevard alone
And you're screaming at the top of your lungs all night
And I wonder to myself how did you get to be this king without a throne
It's just another sunny day here in the land of Babylon

To see the things that no one sees, to hear the lies that no one tells
Its getting lonely in this place, gettin tired of it all
I've wondered to myself how many times he's cracked inside
Screaming at the top of your lungs and now
The voices in your head keep getting louder with the passing of each day

It's getting harder to go on
I don't know what you don't know
You wouldn't play that game the same
You wouldn't play that game at all

As the rain falls down on your head, it slips inside the cracks
Of another fruitless day here in the land of Alvarez

11 ASKING FOR THE WORLD

(2:25)

I'm not asking for that much
I only want the truth
When you tell me how you feel
I'm not gonna play the games
That make you feel like shit
I'm not asking for the world

How many times must we tell each other lies
And separate our lives
And wonder what went wrong
I'm not asking for that much
Just some open honesty
I'm not asking for the world

When were young it's only fun
It's just the chances that you take
Now we're grown up and we're fucked up
And we make the same mistakes
We keep repeating the same beating
Like it's not a choice to make
And then we're lying and denying
What we won't refuse to change

I feel like I've been through so much shit
So many dysfunctional relationships
That I don't know what to feel anymore
I'm not asking for that much
But just be real with me
I'm not asking for the world

12 TATTOO

(2:23)

Another desperate call you're not around
I got a head so full of worry cause you're nowhere to be found
Displaced and out of order I've been down
On my hands and knees so many nights
Crawling around this place for days

Well I know you heard me say it all before
Yeah I can bleed myself so many times before I start to doubt
But this time I'm not gonna let it go
You're way too far away
And I got too much that I wanna say

And now I'm hangin on to every word I never said to you
Here in this phone booth guess I'll wait around and pay my dues

Tonight I got a new best friend
Chemical inebriation
I'm passin time without you
All alone

I was never one for patience, I was never one for trust
I'm a little bit neurotic so ignore me if you must
This brain of mine won't let me let it go
I'm not gonna let you get away
I've got too much that I wanna say

And now I'm hangin on to every word I never said to you
Here in this phone booth guess I'll pay some dues
And I'll wait for you to make a move
It's all I've got and it's all I need
And I'll leave it up to you
To save me from myself again tonight

13 JUST LIKE ME

(2:04)

I want your misery, I want you to be what I hate in me
I wanna make you twist your mind
So you can be just like me
You got a lot that you try to hide
You need a hand to reach deep inside of you
I don't think I like you now
But I will when you're someone else

Metamorphisize, I wanna make you right inside my eyes
I wanna make you play those games with me

This perversion waits inside for you
Tortured visions of yourself here on display
You gotta moment and I'll tell a lie
Got a secret that I can't deny

I don't want somebody else
Wanna make you destroy yourself
Then I want you to take it out on me, on me

I don't care about the things that make us different
I'm gonna make you change and you'll see yet
That I can do all this cause you got no self esteem
I'm not gonna tell you lies
I'm unhealthy and dysfunctional it's no surprise
I can't wait to make you just like me

I want your misery, I want you to be what I hate in me
I wanna make you twist your mind
So you can be just like me
I wanna be the one that loves you now
Keep you safe from the devils inside your head
To be the hand to reach deep inside
For your own fucking sanity

Metamorphisize, wanna make you right inside my eyes
I wanna make you play those games with me
With me (with me), with me (with me), with me (with me)

14 MATCH BOOK

(4:24)

I can see it in your eyes, I can hear it in your voice
The signs are obvious that all we had has run its course
I don't mind giving up the upper hand in this little charade
Cause I've spent too many nights here on the floor
Waiting for something inside you to change

Don't look back in anger, now its all that you can see
Cause anger's all I got to keep me warm when you're away
And I know that this is nothing new but tonight its all I know
Disconnect myself from your memory and never feel anything at all
To justify with all your words don't mean anything to me
Cause I've cut you off

So here we stand and face each other, we've got nothing to say
A flashback to another time when silence was a welcome friend
Now I'm sorry I can never really say
All the things going on inside my head
Silence is a justified expression of my war
Now nothing's like it was before

Don't look back in anger now it's all that you can see
But anger's all I got to keep me warm when you're away
And all your words and all your actions don't mean anything to me
Cause I've cut you off

Don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger, it's just a memory
(I'm sorry I can never really say all the things going on inside my head)
(Silence is a justified expression of my war now nothing's like it was before)
Don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger, it's just a memory

It's easy to forget your face and it's easy to survive in this place
Without you, without you

I just comb my hair and wash my face
Keep straight ahead and keep my pace
Don't think about nothin I might never be alright
Well I got my friends I got my pen
I got a million distractions to keep me warm
And I know that I'll be alright, that I'll be alright