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Last Update: 8/23/2018 0909



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1. Perform This Way (2:55)
2. CNR (3:22)
3. TMZ (3:40)
4. Skipper Dan (4:01)
5. Polka Face (4:47)
6. Craigslist (4:53)
7. Party In The CIA (2:57)
8. Ringtone (3:25)
9. Another Tattoo (2:50)
10. If That Isn't Love (3:48)
11. Whatever You Like (3:42)
12. Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me (5:43)

01 PERFORM THIS WAY

(3:22)

This is a parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.



My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And some day you will go far
Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show

I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby, I perform this way
I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn't mean I'm crazy, I perform this way perform this way

Ooh, my little monsters pay
Lots cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way perform this way
Ooh, don't worry, I'm okay
Hey, I just perform this way
I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen
I'll be a human jelly bean
Cause every day is Halloween for me

I'm so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I'll wrap my small intestines round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage
I'll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M hey, hey, hey
And for no reason now I'll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pété Express yourself

Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lamé
No, not because I'm crazy, I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar
There's nothing too embarrassing
I'll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
Cause baby, I perform this way

Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today
Don't call the cops now, baby, I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm always deviating from the norm this way-hey
I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm really not insane, I just perform this way-hey

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02 CNR

(3:22)

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you'd never disrespect
He stood 8 foot tall, wore glasses
And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck
He ate his own weight in coal
And excreted diamonds every day
He could throw you down a flight of stairs
But you still would love him anyway
Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway

Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
With two flat tires and a missin chain
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
I'm tellin you the man was insane
He could rip out your beatin heart
And show it to you right before you died
Every day he'd make the host of Match Game
Give him a piggyback ride
Yeah, a two-hour piggyback ride
Giddyup, Gene!

A ninja warrior, master of disguise
He could melt your brain with his laser beam eyes, oh yeah
Oh yeah
He had his very own line at the DMV
He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee, oh yeah
Oh yeah, that was somethin to see, I tell ya

Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings
As a potent aphrodisiac
He ran a 4-minute mile blindfolded
With an engine block strapped to his back
He could eat more frozen waffles
Than any other man I know
Once he fell off the Chrysler Building
And he barely even stubbed his toe
Had a tiny little scratch on his toe didn't even hurt

Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion
But he never ever told a soul
I've seen the man unhinge his jaw
And swallow a Volkswagen whole
He'd bash your face in with a shovel
If you didn't treat him like a star
Cause you can spit in the wind, or tug on Superman's cape
But Lord knows you just don't mess around with CNR

No no no
Talkin bout CNR
Ohh

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03 TMZ

(3:40)

This is a parody of "You Belong With me" by Taylor Swift.



You're sorta famous, a minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense the world would be
Obsessed with every single thing you do
They're runnin round with their camcorders in the night
They're lurking patiently and hopin that they just might
See somethin real embarrassing you do

A bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt
That's the story that they're gonna feature
With exclusive pics of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone, but that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi poppin out of nowhere
Cameras in your face, and then suddenly
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

Followin you when you're walkin down the street
And asking stupid questions while you're tryin to eat
So you cover your face, thinking to yourself
Hey, isn't this creepy
And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown
And take em on a little car chase through this whole town
They'll be there with you when you're going to jail
First on the scene for every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later it's up on the web site
Get a Vegas wedding or quickie divorce
And they'll be sneakin in, snappin pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you pickin your nose or
Stumblin down the street on a drunken spree
You're on TMZ
Stalkin you, just waitin by your front door
Trailin you through airport security
They're with TMZ
They're with TMZ

We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poo
Is that a baby bump
I pronounce her guilty of leaving the house while fat
Look who's drinking coffee
Everything celebrities do is fascinating

Oh, lemme tell you, it's getting to the point where a famous person can't
Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around, so you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town if you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time a star decides to
Shave their head or ram their car into a tree
They're on TMZ
If they catch you peeing in the bushes
Later on that night, well, I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ
Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be
There on TMZ

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04 SKIPPER DAN

(4:01)

I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away
I graduated first in my class at Juilliard
Took every acting workshop I could
And I dreamed of Hollywood
While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bar

Hit the boards and paid my dues
And got phenomenal rave reviews
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
I was sure that Tarantino would be callin me on the phone
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
But the years have come and gone
And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out

I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears
Just like they've done for the last 50 years
Now I'm laughin at my own jokes but I'm cryin inside
Cause I'm workin on the Jungle Cruise ride

Oh, the critics, they used to say
I was the new Olivier
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes
Ah, but don't bother tryin to IMDb me
The only place you might possibly see me
Is ridin my little boat around Adventureland
It ain't exactly what I planned

But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow"
But what's the difference, that's all behind me now
Cause I'm payin the rent and I'm swallowin my pride
And I'm workin on the Jungle Cruise ride

I should be there on Broadway
Knockin em dead in "12 Angry Men"
But instead I'm here tellin these lame jokes
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again

Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet
That's an African bull elephant
And there it is, the backside of water
What have I done with my life

I shoulda listened when my grandfather said
Why don't you major in business instead
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died
And I'll probably work forever
As a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Skipper Dan is the name
And I'm doin 34 shows every day
And every time it's the same
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears
Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears
Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied
Cause I'm workin on the Jungle Cruise ride
I'm still workin on the Jungle Cruise ride

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05 POLKA FACE

(4:47)

Mum mum mum mum
Mum mum mum muh
Oh whoa oh oh oh

Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read-a my polka face
She's got to love nobody
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read-a my polka face
She's got to love nobody
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face Mum mum mum muh
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face, hey

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh, you're a womanizer, baby
You you you are
You you you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
Womanizer

Boy don't try to front
I-I I know just what you are are-are
Boy don't try to front
I-I I know just what you are are-are

You say I'm crazy
I've got your crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down, down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down

HEY!

Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night at, at, at night

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

And I was like baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
I thought you'd always be mine

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin more fun
And now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry ChapStick
I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

And I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron, catch me in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka Hey
Blame it on the henny Hey
Blame it on the blue tap Hey
Got you feeling dizzy Hey
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Replay
Replay-ay-ay-ay

Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down
Baby are you down

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break your heart

Don't stop
Make it pop
DJ blow my speakers up
Tonight
I'ma fight
Till we see the sun light
Tick tock
On the clock
But the polka dont stop, (NO!)
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo

P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
Mum mum mum mah
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
Oh no you can't read my
P-p-polka face
Talkin' 'bout my polka face
P-p-p-polka face

Hey

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06 CRAIGSLIST

(4:53)

This is a style parody of The Doors.



Whoa, yeah

You've got a '65
Chevy Malibu
With automatic drive
A custom paint job, too
I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist
I'm on Craiglist, baby, come on
Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance
Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance
Never approached you at all
You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin red Speedos and a hockey mask
Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist
Yeah, Craigslist, come on
I'm on Craigslist
Well, baby, maybe you are too
Be bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo

An open letter to the snotty barista
At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard
I know there were 20 people behind me in line
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother
Didn't you see me hold up my index finger
That means, I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes
So what's with the attitude, lady
No tip for you

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts
You can have em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick em up from me
But the trash can ain't part of the deal
Only givin you the peanuts, get real
Don't have no hefty bag, so bring your own
Don't bug me with questions on the phone
Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime
Just ask yourself
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts
You can have them all

They're on Craigslist, yeah
Craigslist, oh baby, come on
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now

Craigslist

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07 PARTY IN THE CIA

(2:57)

This is a parody of "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus.



I moved out to Langley recently
With a plain and simple dream
Wanna infiltrate some third world place
And topple their regime
Those men in black with their matching suitcases
Where everything's on a need-to-know basis
Agents got that swagger
Everyone's so cloak and dagger

I'm feelin nervous but I'm really kinda wishin
For an undercover mission
That's when the red alert came on the radio
And I put my earpiece on
Got my dark sunglasses on
And I had my weapon drawn

So I get my handcuffs, my cyanide pills
My classified dossier
Tappin the phones like yeah
Shreddin the files like yeah
I memorized all the enemy spies
I gotta neutralize today
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA

I've done a couple of crazy things
That've almost gotten me dismissed
Like terminate some head of state
Who wasn't even on my list
Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you
I'd tell you why, but then I'd have to kill you
You need a quickie confession
We'll start a waterboarding session
No hurry on this South American dictator
I'll assassinate him later
That's when he walked right in my laser sights
And my silencer was on
And my silencer was on
And another target's gone

Yeah, we got our black ops all over the world
From Kazakhstan to Bombay
Payin the bribes like yeah
Pluggin the leaks like yeah
Interrogating the scum of the earth
We'll break em by the break of day
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA

Need a country destabilized stabilized
Look no further, we're your guys we're your guys
We've got snazzy suits and ties suits and ties
And a better dental plan than the FBI's

Better put your hands up and get in the van
Or else you'll get blown away
Stagin a coup like yeah Stagin a coup like yeah
Brainwashin moles like yeah
We only torture the folks we don't like
You're probably gonna be okay You're gonna be okay
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA
Yeah, It's a party in the CIA

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08 RINGTONE

(3:25)

Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular popular, ooh
But now I hang my head in shame
My life is filled with such regret
A bad mistake I can't forget
And now I'll never be the same

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all What was I thinking
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody everybody
Everybody everybody
Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone

When my phone goes off at work
I look like the biggest jerk
Total strangers want to slap me around
When it's ringin on the terrace
My neighbors get embarrassed
They're beggin me to move out of town

Well, it made my wife so sick
She smashed my iPhone with a brick
But I had it fixed, and now its just fine
It's a pain, I sure don't need it
And I probably should delete it
But for me that would be crossin the line
Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety-nine
Hey, I paid good money for this

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all Really, what was I thinking
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody everybody
Everybody everybody
Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone

Ringtone, ringtone

Chinese factory workers they hate my ringtone
Muslim women in burqas really hate my ringtone
Starving kids in Angola they hate my ringtone
Even folks with Ebola just hate my ringtone
All the nuns and nannies all the welfare mothers
All the Pakistanis all the Wayans brothers
Everyone on the land, Everyone on the sea
Every single person everywhere unanimously
Everybody everybody
Everybody everybody
Everybody in the whole wide world really hates my
Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone...

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09 ANOTHER TATTOO

(2:50)

This is a parody of "Nothin' On You" by B.O.B..



Beautiful tats all over my back
Makes me so proud, I'm gonna shout it out loud
I got another tattoo, baby yeah Another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo

No part of me's blank, I'm really ink-obsessed yes
It's like an art show the moment that I get undressed check it
At every job interview they're just so impressed really
Cause I've got all my ex-wives on my chest ha ha
Over here is Clay Aiken, there's a side of bacon
And a minotaur pillow-fightin' with Satan yes
Next to Hello Kitty and a zombie ice skatin yeah
Wait... it's Ronald Reagan

I've got these dragons, I've got these dolphins
All inscribed on me indelibly
I've had bad reactions, bad infections
Even Hepatitis C Hepatitis C
My friends think that I need therapy therapy
Maybe some laser surgery
For the flaming goat skull on my knee, knee, knee

Beautiful tats yeah all over my back all over
And I've got some space here on this side of my face here
For another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo

No, I'm not high high, I'm really okay okay
I just love these scribbles that won't go away yeah
I got another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Yeah

Yes, there were a few I got from a losin a bet bet
I misspelled a word or two, still there's nothin I regret 'gret
My shoppin trips are no sweat sweat, there's never stuff I forget get
Check out this rad Boba Fett, he's playin clarinet

Beautiful tats all over my back all over
And what the heck, there's still room on my neck
I'll get another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo

I don't know why why, but every day day
Whenever folks see me, they just back away woo
I got another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Another tattoo, baby
Nuh nuh nuh nother tattoo babe, nuh nother tattoo
Yeah

Owww
Okay, right there by my elbow, ya see
Yeah, I got a couple square inches left
Uh, maybe a squid or a tarantula or something
I don't know, surprise me

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10 IF THAT ISN'T LOVE

(3:48)

Ooh yeah
Ohh

I'm your shelter from the storm
You know I'll always have your back
I'll even let you warm
Your freezin hands inside my butt crack
I never get out my leaf blower when Oprah is on
And when you're tellin me about your feelings
I try not to yawn
And when we're at parties
I don't talk about your spastic bladder
When you're cleaning the gutters on the roof
I'll hold the ladder

And if that isn't love
If that isn't love
If that isn't love, I don't know what love is
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na no, I guess I don't know
Na na na na na na na na
Ahh, listen now

There's a microscopic bit of milk left
In the refrigerator
I could've finished it off, but I quit
In case you want a tiny little sip later
And if you cut the cheese then maybe
I'll wink and say the dog's to blame
And I'll make sure to call you "baby"
Every time I forget your name
I'll even tell you, girl, when you start lookin fat
Cause all your so-called friends
Would probably neglect to mention that

And if that isn't love
If that isn't love
If that isn't love, I don't know what love is
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na, well then, I don't know
Na na na na na na na na
Oh no

Even though you made me sit through Mamma Mia
Well, I still adore you
I'll kiss you even if you've had omelettes for breakfast
And I can't stand omelettes
After I take a bath, if it's still warm
I'll leave the water in there for you
I give you my word
You're so beautiful you make a glorious sunset
Look like a big fat turd, yeah

Every time I see you
Tryin to lift some really heavy thing
You can always count on me to help
By sayin' something encouraging
If you get drunk and pass out
I'll never Sharpie up your face
And I don't wipe my nose on your couch
Even though that's a super-convenient place

I totally support every idiotic thing you do
And I almost never pretend you're someone else
When I'm makin out with you

And if that isn't love
If that isn't love
If that isn't love, I don't know what love is
Na na na na na na na na
No, I don't know what love is
Na na na na na na na na
Well, I don't know what love is
Na na na na na na na na
I don't know what love is

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11 WHATEVER YOU LIKE

(3:42)

This is a parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I..



Hey girl
You know our economy's in the toilet
But I'm still gonna treat you right
I said you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah

Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice
And we can clip coupons all night
And baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah
Take you out for dinner anywhere that you please
Like Burger King or Mickey D's
And baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can even have the large fries
Yeah

Baby, you should know I am really quite a sweet guy
When I buy you bathroom tissue, I always get the 2-ply
Want it, you can get it, my dear
I got my Costco membership card right here, yeah

You like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen
Got a cupboard full of em, I'll keep em comin
You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it
Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it

Pork and beans and Minute Rice
And we can play cribbage all night
And baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah

I can take you to the laundromat downtown
And watch all the clothes go round and 'ound
Or baby we can go wherever you like
I said we can go wherever you like
Yeah

Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo
You could be second runner-up Miss Ohio
Seven dollar bills rolled up inside my plastic billfold
Buy you a bagel even if it isn't day-old
And you never ever gotta wear your sister's old clothes
Long as I'm still assistant manager at Kinkos
Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl
You ain't gotta pay me, that's the way that I roll
My chick can have what she want
At Wal-Mart she can pick out anything she want
I know girl, you ain't never had a man like that
Who doesn't make you buy generic brand like that
Yeah

You like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai
I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday
But that's kinda far and I'm not made of cash
Do you think you could chip in for gas

Mac and cheese would be all right
But let's send out for pizza tonight
And you can order any toppings you like
I said you can even have the last slice
Yeah

Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next door
Now I can get free HBO
And baby you can watch whatever you like
I said you can watch whatever you like
Yeah

And you can always ride the city bus
Got a stack of tokens just for us
Yo, my wallet's fat and full of ones
Yeah, it's all about the Washingtons, that's right

You want White Castle, need White Castle
Long as you got me it won't be no hassle
You want it, we'll get it, just don't be a hater
If I grab a bunch of napkins for later

Thrift store jeans, on sale half price
The underwear at Goodwill is nice
And baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah
Baby, I can give you anything you please
Even share my government cheese
And baby you can have as much as you like
I said you can have as much as you like
Yeah

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12 STOP FORWARDING THAT CRAP TO ME

(5:43)

Oh, the sand keeps fallin through the hourglass
And there's no way you're gonna slow it down
You say we gotta treasure each moment
Who knows how long we're gonna be around

Yeah, you keep on tellin me life is short
And it's hard to disagree with what you say
But if time is so precious why're ya wastin mine
Cause I'm always reading, always deleting
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way

Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well, I don't need tons of cringe-inducing puns
Stop forwarding that crap to me

No, it isn't okay if you brighten my day
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
And I didn't request a personality test
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh

You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments
To every single person you know
You're passin round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
That everybody else already saw three years ago

And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards were never that amusing to me
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes someone'll point you toward Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly

No, I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Send more Top 10 lists, and I'll slash my wrists
Please stop forwarding that crap to me

Well, I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
Won't you kindly refrain cause it's hurting my brain
Stop forwarding, that crap to me

Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
Now tell me, in what alternate reality would I care about something like that

And by the way, your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
And I highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me if I don't pass her letter along

Well, now I know you're wishin' I'll sign your petition
But stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don't want to read your series of conspiracy theories
Just stop forwarding that crap to me

And your two million loser friends all have my address now
Cause you never figured out the way to BCC
Now I've gotta insist, take me off of your list
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me Just stop it now
Stop forwarding that crap to me Oh no
Stop forwarding that crap to me Oh oh

Stop forwarding that crap to me I can't take it
Stop forwarding that crap to me Aw please
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me You gotta stop
Stop forwarding that crap to me Right now
Stop forwarding that crap to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me I'm not kidding
Stop forwarding that crap to me At the risk of being slightly repetitious
Gonna ask you now to stop

Stop Sending me that Crap, I don't want it
Don't send it to me, no, don't send it to me

Stop forwarding that crap to me Just stop
Stop forwarding that crap to me Oh
Stop forwarding that crap to me

To me

Ahh ahh ahh

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