Last Update: 11/1/2020 0018
2. Novacain (2:53)
3. I'm Not A Loser (1:28)
4. Novella (2:59)
5. Lost Motel (3:59)
6. Pleather (3:01)
7. Klawsterfobia (0:31)
8. Ghost Town (2:07)
9. Bark At The Moon (3:31)
10. Sinner Or Coward (1:39)
11. Season Of The Witch (2:49)
12. Your Worst Mistake (3:28)
13. Betrayal (2:50)
15. Barfly (3:10)
16. Night Of The Necro (2:10)
17. American Lie (2:34)
18. Dig (2:54)
19. Wrong Side Of The Tracks (2:49)
20. Just Like Me (2:07)
21. Mad Mad World (2:15)
22. Jacqueline (2:32)
23. Velvet Alley (Acoustic) (4:18)
24. Ashes (2:42)
25. Forever Is Today (2:19)
01 DON'T LOOK BACK
(2:41)Previously only available on first 10,000 copies of An American Paradox in retail stores.
Also available on Live In A Dive.
Before you say a word, before you turn away
There's just one thing I gotta know
Are you still who you'd claimed you'd be
I've been told were all the same
Only difference is all the people that you were
Growing up I thought I'd never change
No apologies, always stayed the same
Now I don't look back
Ideals, and blind devotion
Your loyalties can burn
It's growing what's inside that counts
Twisted, true and without a doubt
Yeah I've been told were all the same
Waiting for something that already came
Mind of confusion with no one to blame
Just waiting
Behind, locked inside your emotions
Caging, releasing, it feeds your motives
Growing, changing, it's something you don't know
Make you feel you're losing ground
Growing up I thought I'd never change
No apologies, always stayed the same
I'll never look back
02 NOVACAIN
(2:53)Originally released on "Live Fat Die Young"
There's something I can't figure out
There's something that I can't let go
It's here it's real and it's staring me in the eye
It's all I see now
Growing into somethin new
Becoming what I always knew
Would change me if I let it go
Would turn on me if I let it show now
If I let it show
And you always got the best of me
While bringing out the worst of me
I found myself again
And I didn't like this thing that I've become now
So I gotta do this right now
Cause tomorrow I ain't lookin back
This is my last chance to come clean and make it right
And show you what I know
Sinking ever further
Concrete shoes keep me around
It's getting way to late to change tonight
Shudder to think I may be wrong
It's easy to lose when you're the king of loss
And everything slips by
Taking a chance making a change
For better or worse I can't let go
And I know what I want
Is what we think of ourselves inside
The same as what we really are
Is what you see in me really what I wanna be
Is this all for me
Is this all for you
Is this all we see in ourselves
03 I'M NOT A LOSER
(1:28)Previously unreleased, recorded in 1992
Think that I'm a loser
Cause now my pants are too low
Think that I'm a slob
Cause I got holes in my shoes
Think I'm Strung Out
Just like my dirty shirt
Well you can fuck off
Cause I'm working sixty a week
You think that life is really tough
When your daddy won't buy you a brand new car
Take a girl out, she won't fuck you
You just bought her a gram of coke
Spent all your money on shitty coke
I'm not a loser
That's right, I'm not a loser
I'm not a loser
Cruisin down the boulevard and wasting mommy's gas
While you're looking for chicks on Friday night
You're only goal in life is to smoke a joint
Decide that you're gonna get laid tonight
You are a fucking son of a bitch
You arrogant assholes
Your pants are too tight
You fucking homos
You suck
Mr. Butt fuck
You don't belong here
Go away you fucking gay
I'm not a loser
04 NOVELLA
(2:59)Previously available only as an iTunes bonus track
My dreams in color crawl with regret
Black and white, there's still us shouting out
We might not make it through
This chapter covers time without you
You're a ghost within these pages I call home
That's nothing new
Cause I'm inclined to say I don't mind
That you still come around this place
Survive me every time
Every scar and all the pain that we find in between
All the words are like razor blades
Well it all seemed far, the distance we are
Another world, another time
Like another life we left behind
It's not enough to say I know you
It's like you have all your secrets
I don't know and never will
Like a riddle laden page it's nothing new
A silent gesture, screaming out my name
You know this one's for you
Cause I'm inclined to say I don't mind
That you still keep me guessing
Every chapter, every time
Every scar and all the pain that we find in between
All the words are like razorblades
Well it all seemed far, the distance we are
Another world, another time
Like another life we left behind
Well I got my wings and all my good luck things
Pressed between a single page in melodrama
Well this binding's not at all what it used to be
Can't hold this page any longer
Any longer
This story I too shall breathe
Through chapters four, five, and three
We've done it all with every start
The rest is human, dark and bleak
With fiction, fodder, and disbelief
And somewhow we always make it through
05 LOST MOTEL
(3:59)Studio version previously only available on rare fan club 7" vinyl
Live version is available also on Live In A Dive
A picture on the wall, like a postcard with a better view of
All things are absent from Room 209
Diana sips from an empty glass of hope she poured last night
The clouds above reflect the shape of all she's gotta leave behind
We always think there's something better in this place that we are not
In dreams the reality of it all
Nobody's happy where they're at and we all wanna be somebody else
Another scribbled stationary book of lies
Another staged confession that just goes unheard
Harry Detroit in 304 made one last promise now
I'm going out without a trace, a vanishing act before your eyes
Nobody wants what they have got and what they got is not enough
In dreams the reality of it all
A lighter shade of green the grass maybe if I believe it so
Then I'll be home
Here I go uncertain that if what I find is what I want
The best for me is everything
I reach for the same as what I'm running from
I guess I'll never, guess I'll never know
Is it the struggle that we live for
Is it keeping us alive to breathe to want, to know, to love
Just one more day, just one more way
So here I go, I'm half the way to home
I'm half the way home, I'm half the way home
06 PLEATHER
(3:01)Previously Unreleased
A plain and lazy afternoon still fresh inside my head
An echo of a simpler time, a reflection that's yours and mine
That car would take us anywhere, get back before the sun
Return to that uneasy place where you are father and I am son
We're going for a drive
It's all in my mind
The smell of pleather and gasoline
We are chrome that turned to rust
The years that separate us now
Are the years we lost to our mistrust
And I'm sorry for my absence but it isn't all my fault
I've come to a place where I can say
That I'm not angry at you anymore
Well I thought we tried
It's still in my mind
Let me steer us home, I promise to get us there
Looking straight ahead I'll be alright tonight
I look inside myself and find a piece of you in spite of me
It's gettin easier to accept I've become a lot like you again
I look inside myself and find a way out of this tangled way
I'm doing things to spite you now
I'm doing things to tear me down
So turn the radio up and we'll sit inside a rivalry
A stolen moment locked in time
A signal that it'll be alright
Well, it's getting easier to be me everyday
I look inside myself and I find a piece of you
07 KLAWSTERFOBIA
(0:31)Previously available on "Short Music For Short People"
The view from this perspective's getting stale
As my best defenses crumble one more time
The walls are gettin tighter, voices gettin louder
Desperation's growing inside my mind
So I can hide away
I don't want anything from you
09 BARK AT THE MOON
(3:31)Originally recorded by Ozzy Osbourne
Previously covered/recorded/released by Strung Out on "Punk Goes Metal" compilation.
Screams break the silence
Waking from the dead of night
Vengence is boiling
He's returned to kill the light
Then when he's found what hes looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Years spent in torment
Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen
Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him
Bark at the moon
They cursed and buried him
Along with shame
And thought his timeless soul had gone
In empty burning hell, unholy one
But he's returned to prove them wrong, so wrong
Now they're going to fucking burn
Howling in shadows
Living in a lunar spell
He finds his heaven
Spewing from the mouth of hell
And when hes found who hes looking for
Listen in awe and youll hear him
Bark at the moon
Oh yeah, bark at the moon
Whoa yeah, bark at the moon
Whoa yeah, bark at the moon
10 SINNER OR COWARD
(1:39)Previously unreleased, recorded in 1992
All instruments performed by Rob Ramos!
Sinner or coward, (call/cause) ? the distant crashing)
Burning for power in the center of the (grave/grey?)
We need a reason to believe in ourselves
Once more, laughter is an absentee
Give me a reason to go to war now
I'm thinking of the reasons why not
Thought you were dying for a cause
He was lying
Troops (ran around and ? all my friends)
That's all (of the battle) (he/in) (truth/troop?)
(Find out?) a man with a gun in my hand
Something I (can't subdue/get from you?)
Decisions, decisions, I just close my eyes
But the whole world will melt away
There's the tragedies of man
Something I don't understand
You always were waiting too late
Yeah
Decisions, decisions, I just close my eyes
But the whole world will melt away
There's the tragedies of man
Something I don't understand
You always were waiting too late
Yeah
Think to yourself, is this what I live for
To die on a mountain of sand
To (pave my (great?)) way to the presidents
They caused the (potential lie?)
11 SEASON OF THE WITCH
(2:49)Previously available on "Fearless Flush Sampler"
I spent time alone in a cage just staring at the wall
She has to have been a savior, see, just to have heard the voices call
Excess is just a brutal type thing, she's fucked up in the brain
When she gets that look in her eyes
You know that mother's gone insane
Daddy won't you please take me home
Cause momma doesn't love us anymore
She did her own killing, more than willing
Now it's time for her to move on
Through places I have hid from momma loves to hide away
She'll fight for all the kids that come on down with her and play
I've seen the young, I've seen the old, I've seen the neighbor's wife
I've seen the agony in their eyes, human sacrifice
Daddy won't you please take me home
Cause momma doesn't love us anymore
She did her own killing, more than willing
Now it's time for her to move on
The place by the woods where the children loved to play
My mother stalks her victims, my mother stalks her prey
Do you know where your children are at
Do you care where they're at tonight
Never look for mercy in her eyes
Human sacrifice
Daddy won't you please take me home
Cause momma doesn't love us anymore
She did her own killing, more than willing
Now it's time for her to move on
The less I feel my sacrifice my mom is a queen
Gashes are from a thorn, the cut wouldn't bleed
I don't want this anymore
I can't take this anymore
What have we done
Naked and alive her flesh soaked with murdered souls
She dances to the voice, it sings sweetly in her ear
The emptiness is out tonight, the moon is full of life
Don't look for mercy in her eyes
Human sacrifice
Daddy won't you please take me home
Cause momma doesn't love us anymore
She did her own killing, more than willing
Now it's time for her to move on
12 YOUR WORST MISTAKE
(3:28)Originally released on "Uncontrollable Fatulence"
Shotgun kiss from me to you and you're nothing more
It's strange to hear you sound like you don't need me anymore
But hearts and thoughts in the cradle fall apart and melt away
No time for a reaction just the honesty...to say
Once again I've done my job of pushing you away
It's the rise and fall of the beginning and the end of another day
The traps I set, the risk I bet, the one that got away
I sit down to wonder why
The weight of the world
Is all I ever have to give
So write me off
As just another mistake
That you once made
Digging to get nowhere, I surround myself with good luck charms
Useless and intangible, I keep it moving straight ahead
Assess the situation, make a decision, execute and crawl
Aching to move on
The weight of the world
Is all I ever seem to give
So write me off
As just another mistake
The weight of the world
Is all I ever seem to give
So write me off
As just another mistake
13 BETRAYAL
(2:50)This is the version known as the "new version".
It was originally released on "Beyond Cyberpunk".
This engine's revving and the tires are burning
The smell of asphalt lingers in the air
My head is spinning and my thoughts are burning
A rattle shakes itself in fear
Tell me where just tell me how
Please tell me where I'm supposed to go
A thousand miles down this one way street
And where it stops I don't know
Hallucinations feeding desecration
Never bargained for a ride like this
Lying disgrace has knocks me off my feet
Down and out but not alone
So tell me where just tell me how
Please tell me where I'm supposed to go
A thousand miles down this one way street
And where it stops I don't know
A one way trip to the center of my spine
To the desert I call my mind
And in my rearview I'm watched
By the same set of burning eyes
Will you assure me I'm home free
So I shift into neutral
And I let it ride
I've dug my grave and I've locked my door
No prayer's gonna save me now
This machine has sealed my fate
My fate just waits and I've lost all control of my world
So tell me where just tell me how
Please tell me where I'm supposed to go
A thousand miles down this one way street
And where it stops I don't know
14 MORE THAN WORDS
(3:28)Originally available on the first 5,000 copies of Blackhawks Over Los Angeles.
Whats the point of asking if you know why
Whats the point of caring if we dont try
Whats the point of fighting if we never understand
Give a little just to show you're out there
That will stand for something more than words
I've been thinking to myself its something I aint getting
I've been lying to myself its something I dont want
In just a moment it can all change
With just a promise I will never be the same
Now I'm so sick of wasting time
Throwing things away
Now are you with me or are you against
Together but always alone
Why does everything we care for wither
Into a question we cant answer
Are we getting better are we growing all the time
Or have we reached the end of all we'll ever find
Another heart ache, another question
Another moment we will never be the same
Now I'm so sick of wasting time
Throwing things away
Now are you with me or are you against
Together but always alone
Are you there
Cause I cant see you anymore
All I see is anger as you turn around and tell me
This will be the last time
Now I'm so sick of wasting time
Throwing things away
Now are you with me or are you against
Together but always alone
More than words
Together but always alone
More than words
Together but always alone
16 NIGHT OF THE NECRO
(2:10)Also known as "The Last Song", previously unreleased.
No time, coming down, burning up the sky
The hero was waiting and all hope had been lost
There came a shape of twisted metal, proclaiming astral-murder
Pushing a never ending darker age
They came and took you away, now half the battle has been lost
I drove around up and down this burned out town
It started in the graveyards rectifying what was left
Of who recently deceased, it gives them life
This plague condemned the cities, killing armies with him where they stood
Infection and destruction, no one had a chance
They came and took you away, this subliminal hymn has been sent
He walks all the way, "So this is hell?" he asks
Postmortematic shock, troops marching up and down, reality
Electro-magnetic pulse of radiating corpses
Started emanating, knee-jerk resistance
Moving through defenses, but severed at the base
In the ashes of the cities we'll build another race
To grow, to bleed, this blood's a flood
To rise and take what belongs to us
To grow, to defeat, to burn
To finally crush and take away
They came and took you away, now half the battle has been lost
17 AMERICAN LIE
(2:34)Originally released on "As A Matter Of Fact"
Can you see it in their eyes
The madness and the pain
A state of mind could rip the fearing face
Off one man and conform
They tried
The new division of obedience
A plan for all to heed
They make the laws and preempt the debt
We don't question how they do it
Well I can slowly feel this riddle come undone
As I stand upon the face of regret and I realize what we've done
Addiction among the artificial bliss, it's a false reality
And all along and I'm so alive
Lack of cheer with shaded eyes
The great american lie
To believe we're ancestors of obedience
Until the day you die
Well I can slowly feel this riddle come undone
As I stand upon the face of regret and I realize what we've done
Addiction among the artificial bliss, just a false reality
And all along I'm so alive
25 FOREVER IS TODAY
(2:19)Previously unreleased
I stand upon your sunrise
I set upon the early skies
Sent em off the edge
As you said goodbye
Hookers like you come and go
That's what I try and tell myself
That you walked out of my life
Thought that forever
You (pawned all we saved?)
(Look out?) forever is today, yeah
When the (dry mark on your face)
(It got green in your eyes)
You walked to the lie
(Better off to have one better)
You (pawned all we saved?)
(Look out?) forever is today, yeah
Tempers, I'm all alone
I pick yourself up off
What you used to say yeah
You think we're never (that something)
The shadow on this wall no
Now I'm running out of places to hide
Strung out, left in the rain
When shit came down I was always alright
Now you're gone I guess forever
Forever is today
Today
Today
Today
Some things that I might get control
So am I disturbing you
As I try to raise a (? ?) to my reailty
Today
Today
Forever is today
Today
Today
Today, yeah
Today
Today, yeah
Today
Forever is today my friend
(Forever my friend?)